The Sun Also Rises, 1988–2006

THE SENSE OF FRESH, dewy beginnings made my skin bloom and my eyes shine. Crying Hindi songs by Mukesh and Lata Mangheskar no longer brought forth fresh supplies of tears from an endless well. The walls of my home were no longer humid with sorrow. A new woman was stepping out, shaking herself dry. My hair was cut short and sharp. Startling post-separation haircuts are par for the course; ask any divorcee and her stylist. I knew that the tow of the past would drag us back from time to time. When such unexpected crashes happen, you find yourself watching several movies of your own life at once, crowding the screen and driving you crazy. Images from the past persist and at times feel palpably present; the present presents itself and is unfamiliar and unsteady; and the future appears sometimes as the recovered old life or another country with possibilities not yet imagined.